When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize