Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
