it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
