i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
