I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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