can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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