i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
