4 words: hood of his car
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
