Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
