I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
