Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
