If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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