We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
