when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
