I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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