meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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