If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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