you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So much Jack, so little girl.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
