i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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