Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
