I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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