you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
