Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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