Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
