Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
