Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
