Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
