It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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