your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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