Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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