So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
