Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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