No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize