I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
