You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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