I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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