Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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