Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
