boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
