You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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