I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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