he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
