We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
