I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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