So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
