You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
