I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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