...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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