at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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