He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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