That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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