He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
