i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
