Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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