Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
