I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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