Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
