is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
