Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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