Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize