Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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