I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
