Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
